Get outside your comfort zone

My son, Colton, likes a girl at school. He'd like to ask her out for coffee or something but he is terrified.

"This is so hard," he moans.

"What's so hard?" I wonder, "Pick up the phone and call, I mean text and see if she'd like to get coffee." These are simple words, simple concepts.

I cook, and he stares at his phone. I set the table.

"Did you text her?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"Maybe. I dunno. Probably not"

"Why not?"

"What if she says no?"

Aaah, the crux of the matter.  It's not hard to ask, but the fear of failure is something else entirely‑especially when you're 17.

Not that it gets any easier at 27, or 57.  I guess by the time we're 97 we would be over it, but who knows.  The fear of failure is a powerful non-motivator at any age. There are so many things we don't do because we might fail. Sometimes we don't even try for fear of looking stupid, or being ridiculed. It's a blow to the ego for sure, to be laughed at, or whatever, and so we don't. But we have to step out of our comfort zone and do things that scare us. We have to try, knowing we might fail because as Michael Jordan once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

We had four awesome classes with Tanis Gray this past weekend.  There were some very fearless knitters in there working two colors at once, designing their own Fair Isle project and cutting right into their knitted fabric.  It was a safe space, and Tanis was there to prevent any crisis, but still, it was pretty brave of them to try something new and different.  These students  may never work another stranded project or steek a sweater or anything else, but with every class, every new skill, and every step outside their comfort zone, they became more and more  confident. Not just in their knitting either. The mastery of one skill builds confidence generally and makes us feel strong an empowered across the board. It gives us the courage to step even further outside our area of comfort and complacency and learn and do more each time. 

Choose classes and projects that will stretch you a little bit. Not anything overwhelming and crazy, but a little bit more challenging than the last thing you did.  You'll be amazed at how much you'll learn and how happy you'll feel as you learn it. And we are always here to help. 

I look forward to seeing you in the shop and around the table.  You are always welcome here.  ~Ellen

Back to 22 October 2019 Newsletter